Benedict Advertising - Business Building Solutions

by Ashley Kelly

Day One: Stroll in 10 or 20 minutes late and leave a 10 or 20 minutes early every day. That can amount to hours every week that you’re getting paid for not being there. It feels good to beat the system!
Day Two: Do the absolute minimum. Never offer to take on projects or to help around the office. If your company really wanted you to do more than the bare minimum, they would pay you more. Learn to say, “That’s not part of my job description,” and use it frequently. Remember, the key is doing just enough not to get fired.
Day Three: Take your personal frustrations to work with you. Have problems on the home front? Take it out on your co-workers and clients. Don’t worry… they deserve it.
Day Four: Surf the net. Spend your day checking your personal e-mail, bank account, your myspace, your friends myspace, match.com, and downloading songs for your iPod. Keeping your social life in check is essential to keep a positive attitude at work.
Day Five: Don’t return phone calls. If it’s really important, they’ll call back. While you’re at it, step up those personal phone calls. Consider the office your personal phone booth. Your fellow employees can’t wait to hear what your doctor has to say about that rash.
Day Six: Teamwork is overrated. Look out for number 1 and when things go wrong BLAME SOMEONE ELSE. As long as you have a good excuse, you’re golden.
Day Seven: Complain to anyone who will listen. Working sucks….in fact your job sucks and you work with idiots. You’re over worked and underpaid and the company never does anything for you… awww.
Day Eight: Always consider yourself indispensable. Nobody in this company knows squat except for you.
Day Nine: Don’t worry about deadlines… they’re more like guidelines. As long as it gets done eventually, you’re fine.
Day Ten: Go on vacation and never come back. They’ll be holding it for you just in case you decided the unemployment line is too long.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 11th, 2007 at 3:51 pm and is filed under What's the 411?. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.